Restrained Regard
by Naomi Shadows
Summary: Needing a breath of fresh air Lu Xun finds himself alone with Gan Ning and desperately tries to hide his feeling from his crush. Short. Yaoi! Gan Ning x Lu Xun


Based on the styles in Dynasty Warriors 7. If you haven't played just look up a picture of each character and check out their clothes.

**Restrained Regard **

I'm overjoyed to have a banquet in my honor, but after hours of dining and celebrating I need a little fresh air. Everyone has demolished their fill of alcohol so I manage to escape with an easy excuse and without much notice. This party might be for me but mostly it's to let off steam for everyone else. They need an excuse to relax with constant battles and stress and I agree we all deserve it. It makes me smile watching everyone laugh. Still I'm relieved to escape into the quiet of the night sky, putting a little distance between me and the room full of music and rowdy voices.

As the sounds grow faint I can hear someone following me and it's easy to tell who it is before he even announces himself. I pretend I can't hear him until he stumbles into something and curses loudly. I turn around in time to see the pirate trying to right a stack of crates he's knocked over, apologizing like he's run into another human. I laugh under my breath and watch until he notices I've discovered him. When he looks at me he smiles. "Lu Xun!" With a wave he forgets about the crates and walks towards me, skipping a little to close the distance between us.

"Gan Ning." I greet him in the same manner.

He's wearing his usual smile with a tint of red overtaking his cheeks. He was across the room from me but I stole several glances at him so I know he's full of drink. It's not a secret he can hold his liquor. He's had enough to forget his inhibition, but I'm positive he can drink for several more hours relatively unaffected. "Pretend you didn't see that." He looks the same as always, standing nearly a head taller than me and covered in muscle. Even his light brown hair has grown longer than mine, though I try to avoid looking wild on the battlefield. It's starting to look like it's been bleached by the sun which I've grown to like. I may have a bias opinion of him though.

I try not to laugh. "Even if you hadn't knocked over those crates I could heard you coming." I reach out to jingle the large bells around his middle and he laughs. They make a very unique sound; friend and foe will always hear him coming. When I hear the bells singing in my ears my eyes immediately search for him… without meaning to.

"Right. Of course." He just scratches his head. I'm sure by now he's personally tuned out the sound that always accompanies him. "Anyways, where are you going? During your official welcome banquet no less."

He of all people noticed my escape. "I just needed some fresh air." I have to turn away and continue walking to keep my eyes from roaming his body. Of course I'll never tell him that. My feelings for him have grown ever since we met and I've been diligent not to let him notice my lingering gaze. I often find him when he's busy in conversation, absorbed in his broad shoulders and ever-exposed chest. It makes me crazy because he's always shirtless and I can't seem to look away. Actually this is the perfect time to thank him. "You know, I've never told you this… but it's thanks to you I'm here." I clasp my hands behind my back, turning to look him in the eyes since I have something to distract me from his body. "When I doubted myself you always had confidence in me. That's the reason I've come so far."

He smirks and crosses his arms. "You're a brilliant strategist. You always show confidence in battle so I think you should give yourself more credit." Something seems to come over him, like an idea that overtakes his entire body. He's smiling again in the way I always enjoy seeing. "Since you're so thankful does this mean I get a reward?" He's leaning forward and it makes me think he's waiting for a maiden to kiss him on the cheek, or something very similar. Maybe I'm misinterpreting the gesture but I'd like to be right for once.

The thought embarrasses me but I laugh to hide it. "The compliment wasn't enough? You're too spoiled." He seems confused but he laughs a moment later. He's keeping his distance from me tonight and I wonder if it's taking all his attention just to stand still. He does seem more patient than usual for some reason. Is it the alcohol? "Can I ask you something, Gan Ning?"

"Anything."

I'm beginning to think I shouldn't be alone with him like this. My feelings might overflow and I've tried so desperately to keep them from him until now. I sigh and try to relax. "Is there something that keeps you going on the battlefield? I've seen the way you fight and it's like something motivates you."

He laughs so suddenly it almost startles me but it's a warm laugh. "Of course. When I fight I know there's someone I want to protect. With that in mind I could fight forever. I'll never lose."

My heart plummets with an overwhelming disappointment. "You mean… there's someone you love?"

"Love?" He seems embarrassed, shuffling his weight from foot to foot as he rubs his neck. "I don't think it started out as love… but I guess, yea, it is now."

I feel devastated and I struggle to keep the emotion from my face. Who else could it be? He's obviously talking about his best friend, Ling Tong. They're always fighting together, competing to be better than the rest. They're always laughing and messing around or playing pranks on each other. It must be him. Even tonight I watched them drinking together, attempting to hide my jealousy. "Can I ask… what is it you like about this person?" There are so many differences between his best friend and me. He's taller than me… but who isn't. They've been together longer. His personality is loud and outgoing just like Ning's. He's strong and determined in battle while I spend most of my time determining the outcome to avoid exhausting those on the battlefield. Worst of all they didn't even start out as friends… they hated each other and now… how could it be?

The thoughtful expression he gives me is painful to see, knowing he's thinking of someone else. Whatever momentary embarrassment he experienced has vanished. "Well, his confidence has always sparked my interest. And his feisty attitude… but maybe I just like to look at his butt in those tight red pants." He snickers.

Why is hearing it straight from his mouth so painful? Ling Tong wears red pants, doesn't he? Well they're half red… I just heard him say 'he' like it means nothing. He's so certain about his choice. I can't even pretend I misunderstood now. "I should have guessed." He's raising an eyebrow at me and I know I can't hide my disappointment anymore. "I always thought you two were just good friends. I should have known it would turn into more." I have to force myself to turn around and walk away.

Like torture he chases after me. "Wait a second… I think you're getting this all wrong."

I turn around so suddenly he jumps back so he doesn't run me over. "I wish you and Ling Tong happiness." Should I just run away? It's hard to run when he's constantly on my heels like he won't take a hint. Just leave me be so I can suffer in peace!

"Ling Tong?" He sounds genuinely confused. "I know I don't express my feelings very well but I've never mentioned him." Is he trying to avoid the obvious answer here? Why can't I just get away from this pirate? "And how can you say you wish me happiness with such a sad expression." He manages to grab my arm and it stops me for only a moment.

Please, don't look at my face right now. If you do I might start crying. I clamp my mouth shut because my mind isn't in the right place to respond accordingly. Anything I say now might make this even worse.

He's startled by my obvious attempt at holding back my tears. His frustration with chasing me gives way to an expression I've never seen on him before. "I just told you how clever you are. I can't believe something so stupid came out of your mouth." He never was one for comfort… "I don't have any interest in Ling Tong. He's my friend. That's all."

He releases my wrist and somehow my hand decides to cover my mouth as I clear my throat. That really helped me calm down. "I thought… since you two are always together… that it was the obvious answer."

The pirate's smile is so gentle I almost want to think he's trying to console me. Suddenly he pulls me against his chest and my mind stops. I can't think straight… My cheek and hand are pressed against his warm skin and I can't stop myself from pushing against him, trying to escape. His arms are around me, steeling me in place. Is he hugging me…? He clears his throat awkwardly. "Like I said… I don't express my feelings very well…" I can hear his heart hamming in my ear, beating faster than normal. Then he pushes me away just enough to bend down, forcing his lips on mine in a rough kiss. His hand is on my chin and the warm wet sensation of his tongue in my mouth pulls a quiet sigh from me. I'm still frozen in place and he releases me before I can react. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip as I stare, unable to give him any reassuring answer. "Come back to the banquet." I hear him swallow the knot in his throat before he walks away leaving this heavy feeling on what I assume is both of our hearts.

When he disappears beyond the walls of the banquet hall movement returns to me body in a rush. I crouch down grabbing my face because it's so hot it hurts. He's right… that was dumb. He just kissed me? That entire conversation… he was talking about me the whole time. He said he likes my confidence and I just showed him an embarrassing lack of faith in myself. Wait… does that mean he said he likes to look at my butt? That means he watches me just like I've always been watching him? And here I thought we were complete opposites, obviously I was wrong about that too. I just couldn't admit to myself it might be me he likes… up until he kissed me. Obviously I can't think that anymore.

I let my fingers touch my lips as I smile a little. There was something gentle about that kiss, like he was desperate to make me understand. Even if it was forceful he tasted warm and I can't say I didn't enjoy it. It might have been better if I had managed to kiss him back though. I think his confidence waned at my lack of movement. I definitely won't run from him again. This changes everything. With my self-reliance rekindled I straighten up and brush any dust off of my jacket, stalling from time. He'll be surrounded by the others when I return to the banquet so for now I'll have to keep my distance. Taking a deep breath I follow after him and step back into the room still flooded with music.

This time I'm completely aware of his eyes as I take my seat beside the others. I accept when Zhou Yu offers to fill my cup now that I've returned. I let my gaze wander and meet Gan Ning's steady eyes. He's obviously curious about my reaction and I see the smirk find his lips when I smile at him. Ling Tong manages to get his attention after several noisy complaints and for now I carry on like nothing happened.

Actually my side of the table seems more riled up than before. How much could they drink in my absence? Unfortunately the tides seem to have turned and one after another people are congratulating me and telling me we must share a drink together. I can't say no but after a few too many I'm regretting my alcohol intake. I try to eat a little to hold off any feeling of getting drunk but it's fighting me. I rub my cheeks when I know I'm feeling giggly. I hate to let other people see me drunk. I really have to watch what I say now because honesty might come out and embarrass me later.

To my great dismay Ling Tong and Gan Ning join me, sitting across the table from me with a new bottle of liquor in the pirate's hand. Ling Tong seems drunk already but he's holding his cup up. "Lu Xun! Drink with me too! I don't want to miss my chance if you're having a cup with everyone."

I try not to look at Gan Ning who is reaching across the table for the cup that's still in my hand. His fingers gently wrap around mine. "I couldn't. I've had too much already." Even as I'm trying to say no I can't pull away from the warm hand holding mine. If only he had taken the cup from me I could have denied him. I'm ridiculously aware of his fingers suggestively touching mine even if he's only pouring a drink.

"Please!" The other man is still begging, grabbing the bottle from his friend to fill his own cup. "Just one?" In his insistence he overflows his own cup and spills some over his fingers. His lips go to catch the excess even as he complains.

"Don't waist it." My crush grumbles, snatching the bottle back. I even like the way his nose wrinkles when he's irritated. I must have sighed louder than planned because he looks up at me when his cup is full. He lifts his cup with a smile, staring at me for so long I can feel a blush rising to my cheeks. "Here's to Lu Xun."

Anyone within earshot actually listening to our conversation yells my name and joins us in our toast. This is really the last one. I drink it in one quick gulp and sigh like I'm breathing fire. I hope that wasn't one too many. Some of the girls pull their men up to dance before it's too late and I observe with constant laughter. With a little alcohol in them they're not as smooth which is fun to watch, even the ever respectful Zhou Yu stumbles a bit as his wife dances around him.

Time passes quickly now and begins taking everyone around me from their seats. The room slowly empties out and I decide it's late enough that no one can deny my retiring to bed. A few short conversations catch me as I try to leave but I manage to get out the door before long. After the dancing somehow Gan Ning managed to disappear and now that I'm leaving the room I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping to see him again tonight. Not that I know what to say. Maybe it would have ended with an awkward conversation and a goodnight none-the-less. This could be for the better until tomorrow.

Making my way towards my bedroom I turn the corner and my eyes fall on the man sitting in front of my closed door. The entire hall is empty save for the pirate sitting hunched over, blocking my path to the room like he might be asleep. For a moment I'm not sure what to do… but decide it doesn't matter. He'll be honest with me, especially now that he's probably drunk. "Gan Ning?" I call in a small voice but he doesn't answer. Actually he doesn't even move. Maybe he is asleep. I chance kneeling beside him. "Are you awake?" I push his hair out of his face, touching the skin gingerly, trying not to startle him. His eyes are closed but he stirs from the touch, leaning back against the door with a groan. He's already grabbing my hand trying to pull me into his lap so I guess he wasn't sleeping. I resist and he lets me stand up. "You shouldn't be sitting out here on the cold floor. Come on." I pull his arm around my shoulder suggesting that I'll help him to his feet and hoping he'll do most of the work. Still I have to start pulling him up before I feel him help me. He's so heavy I'm not sure I can get the door open without dropping him. Somehow I manage with him leaning against me, his arm still around my neck and most of his weight on his own two feet. Everywhere his skin touches mine feels like it's on fire. I feel more embarrassed now than I did before when we were talking outside. It might have to do with me inviting him into my bedroom. He's been in my bedroom before, and I in his, but never during the night. And never drunk.

When I'm shutting us in he stands on his own and walks towards the bed. Stretching with his arms above his head gives me a nice view of his back, even if he's yawning loudly to get my attention. He removes the rope of bells and drops it on the floor. He didn't even need help… that con-artist. I should have known. He sits down on my bed alone since I'm busy standing by the door. "Inviting yourself in?"

He just smiles. "It was lonely waiting in the hall all this time."

No wonder I couldn't find him earlier. "Did anyone see you outside of my room?" I take a few steps, not sure if I should sit down beside him or keep my distance.

"Does it matter?" He looks at me but decides to continue when I don't answer. "They probably thought I was too drunk to make it back to my own room. I just sat down in front of yours by chance."

It's almost like there's a chill in the air telling me I should sit beside him to warm up. That's embarrassing, even my body is moving towards him to sit without my consent. I'm just drawn to him without meaning to be. "Is that true? Are you drunk?" I might be a little influence but eating helped me keep the drunkenness at bay.

His choice of when to answer and when to keep me guessing has always been suspiciously inconvenient. I have a feeling he's just pretending. The look in his eyes is more like… hunger. The moment I realize this he's pushing me onto my back, his hand on my chest… not that he needs to try and hold me down.

I'm a little shocked but something on my mind is keeping me from overflowing with embarrassment. "Earlier you said… you might be feeling… love. Is that true?" I could never get tired of watching the ever changing expressions on his face.

For a long moment he's silent and he looks so serious I begin to second guess my originally excited anticipation. Then he smirks, "Why are you asking me 'is it true' so much tonight? Do you think I lie all the time?" He's asking as a joke but now I feel bad.

"No, of course not." I try to sit up but he stops me with an easy push on my chest. Okay, fine, I won't sit up. "I was just… feeling insecure when we were outside." Just repeating that conversation in my head is embarrassing. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."

"I see now you understand me." His fingers begin to move across my chest, finding the openings in my coat so he can feel the skin on my stomach. "I know you watch me. I can feel your eyes on me all the time. And I now I know you like me." I pinch my lips together. Is he teasing me on purpose? "I like to see the look on your face when you think about me. Like you're embarrassed. I like that look."

Since I can't sit up I cover my face with my hands. "You're saying it like that just to make me blush. That's ridiculous."

He won't even let me hide. Gently grabbing my wrist he's already pulling my hands away. "Why don't you tell me what you like about me?"

This time I laugh. "Why now?"

He pouts which is unusually cute on his masculine face. "I told you things I like about you. A few things anyway…"

"I can't reward you for embarrassing me." I fight the hand on my chest until he allows me to sit up. "I thought you were talking about… someone else that entire time. It didn't feel like a compliment." My disappointment was obviously too quick to rise up and grab my heart. I'm so relieved it wasn't real.

"Fine." Pulling me farther onto the bed he reclines beside me, resting his head on one hand. "I like your determination in battle and the way you want to protect everyone." He's attempting to unbutton my jacket and I have to stop his fingers several times. "I like how you're playing hard to get now that you're drunk."

"I am not drunk." The moment I deny it he climbs on top of me and I feel my nervousness take over. He practically engulfs my body as he leans down and touches his lips to my cheek, sending a shiver through me when I feel his hot breath on my ear. He kisses me on the lips and I feel his leg push gently between mine. Unable to control myself I push him away, feeling scared. "Please… I can't. This is too much."

Defeated he falls back onto the bed. "I'm sorry. I got carried away."

With a deep breath I sit up and begin to remove my shoes. When they're discarded and I've calmed down I turn to him. "Do you want to… sleep together?" I'm sure he instantly takes my question the wrong way but seems to think it over.

"You mean sleep… like normal right?" I nod to answer him and smiles. "Yes. You're okay with just sleeping?"

"Yes." I begin to change and try not to watch him undress. I can't believe I'm embarrassed about it but I am. I avoid looking until he climbs under the blankets and I realize he's thrown all of his clothing in a pile on the floor. "Are you sleeping naked?"

He has the blanket just above his hips. "Why not? We're just sleeping."

I'm getting nervous again and starting to second guess myself. I climb into bed beside him and he lifts the blankets to invite me inside. I can't keep my eyes from looking between his legs and I blush fire. I turn my back to him when I lay down to avoid meeting his gaze. I know he watched me look at his nakedness and I'm sure he did it on purpose. Pulling the blanket over me he grabs me by the hips to pull me against him. Just to be cruel he makes sure my butt is against his crotch since we're only laying down together. He's not even aroused and I can already feel him through the thin fabric of my pants. I attempt to relax when he lays down behind me but all I can think about is him. I love the feeling of him with me, especially when he puts his arm around me. He's so warm and I feel safe and comfortable but right now I'm too tense… I can't sleep.

The long silence is broken by him groaning. I touch his hand and he groans again. He's obviously uncomfortable and I release him thinking it might be me. I had the wrong idea though because I feel his mouth on my shoulder, leaving soft kisses on my skin. It feels so good I can't seem to say anything. The hand I released moves down my body until the warm palm runs across my stomach and stops and the edge of my pants. My breath catches in my throat when I feel his arousal growing against me. When his fingers begin sliding into my pants I stop him. "Stop."

This time he doesn't give into my resistance and I struggle to stop his movement. He's already breathing heavily into my ear. "I swear I won't put it in. Just let me touch you." He escapes my grasp and his hand reaches between my legs. I feel my body respond to his touch as much as I try to resist. His mouth is nibbling away at my neck and it's like he's immobilized me. He pushes my pants down to my knees as his other hand continues to tease me. My cheeks flush at the thought of him feeling me grown hard in his hand but the embarrassment doesn't last long when I feel him grinding against me.

I know I told him I can't do this but the feeling of him rubbing on me is destroying my initial intentions. My voice is revolting and letting itself out because the feeling is overwhelming me. The sounds coming from me are almost foreign to me as I whimper. His rough callous fingers feel unusually good, like he already knows what my body needs. "That feels so good."

It's like my words ignite him into overdrive. Suddenly he's throwing the blanket aside and he's sitting up pushing my legs apart. "I'm trying to hold back. Why are you torturing me?" He throws my pants aside and lifts my leg with a firm grasp. I feel his teeth nibbling on my thighs.

I moan so loud I startle myself and end up covering my mouth. "Don't stop." His lips move across my leg until he's nibbling on the other thigh. My own hand travels across my chest like I'm waiting for him to touch me. He seems to notice because I'm all too willing when I feel him crawling on top of me and beginning a new kiss. I open my mouth and let his tongue seduce me again as I feel his hardness against mine. Why does his warm mouth taste so good? I end up gasping for air, almost unable to break away from those lips. "I thought we were sleeping?"

He stops kissing me and I regret bringing it up. "We were… until you said don't stop. How can I stop after hearing that voice?" He's kissing me so intensely it's like I'm dreaming. I've admired him for so long I never could have known it would come to this. This man kissing me so hungrily and yet so gently it's embarrassing, like I may break but he must devour my entire being before he's satisfied. Like he loves me. That thought alone will lead me to giving in. Up until now I'd forgotten myself completely, distracted by his domination, but now I move my hands to gently caress his face. His skin is so soft and smooth I want to touch him more. He pulls away to look at me for a long silent moment before smiling. "I finally get a real reaction out of you." Wet lips move to my nipple as he sucks on the nub and makes me squirm. He's less than gentle when he pinches the other, trying to hear the different sounds I can make. I'm gasping at the different sensations until my head is spinning. My eyes are pinched closed as his tongue dances across my flesh, trailing down to dip into my belly button. His hot breath is giving me chills… or is it the way he's nipping at my sensitive spots? His hand takes hold of my erection and I rise up on my elbows in surprise, looking down at him. He's teasing me with his tongue before his mouth completely engulfs me and I almost scream. Why does this feel so good? His lips are so amazing I'm burying my hands in his hair about to explode.

I fall onto my back again, crying out. "Stop! I can't last if you keep this up."

He doesn't listen and continue to pump me into his mouth until I come. He swallows it all and licks his lips as he pulls away. He kisses me again but it only lasts a moment. "You seem to be changing your mind." Suddenly his fingers are in my mouth and I can't help but let my tongue roll over them as I suck on them. At least he's giving me a chance to get aroused again. He's starts sucking on my earlobes trying to pull all sorts of sounds out of my mouth and it's working. His slick fingers are moving to my already stimulated entrance.

I sigh at the rough touch as he rubs me in a circular motion. I can already feel two fingers trying to encourage me. "I thought you said you wouldn't enter me." I say this as he's fingering me which feeling amazing and unfortunately I'm wanting more already. Can he tell?

He groans in a sexy way as he's gently massaging my insides, waiting patiently to hear my voice. "I won't do anything to you if you ask me to stop." Even though he's saying that he already has three fingers inside me, probing me to make me more comfortable.

Finally I need to make up my mind. Either I need him to stop or I let him continue and we end up having sex. There is no in between. My body makes the decision for me and I can't seem to tell him no. I want more than his fingers inside me, something much more filling. "Please… make love to me." He answers with a long deep kiss. Even better I enjoy the sound of his voice as he's trying to enter me, his hardness pushing inside me when I'm finally ready for him.

My breath is shaking as he inches inside, filling me up until I can hardly bear it. He's grabbing my hips to make sure I swallow him up. As he begins to move he pulls me into his arms and I fit perfectly in his lap. "It's tight…" He moans as he thrusts harder, enjoying the feeling of my arms around him, my hands desperately clutching at his strong back. "Are you feeling good?"

I attack his mouth for another kiss but it doesn't last long with his thrusting forcing me to pull away so I can breathe. "Yes." He's making it so difficult for me to speak. "It feels so good."

Suddenly I'm on my back with him on top of me, his hips moving incredibly slow as he pulls almost all the way out. "Touch me more." He takes my hand in his and places it on his chest, letting me do as I please. I run my fingers over the delicious muscles, tracing each and every line of his tattoo. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull his lips down to mine once more. I can't get enough of his kisses. He rewards me with a slow thrust that begins another teasing rhythm. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

"Ever since I first laid eyes on you… I've thought about you." My words make him pause and I take the opportunity to find his eyes. I give him kisses as I speak. "I can't keep you from my mind." Another kiss on the corner of his mouth and he's pulling out of me. I sigh at the feeling and continue. "I think it was love at first sight."

I catch a glimpse of a blush before he hides, nuzzling into my shoulder. His arms hold me against his body in a gentle hug. It makes me smile and I run my fingers through his hair. He sighs. "Let me just… stay like this for a little longer."


End file.
